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Normalcy

Here’s what happens with the blog when I’m feeling good:  I have tons of thoughts & plans in my head & they never make it to the blog because I’m so busy trying to get everything done that I need to do while I feel good!  It’s like a vicious cycle.

Similar to how things went the very first round of chemo, I have had a great week this week.  I have been able to enjoy the sunshine – either in my little backyard shelter or in the shade of trees & bushes. I’ve been able to go on walks in the evenings with Tom.  I feel normal – well maybe a warped version of normal. 🙂  I have felt pretty level emotionally – not seesawing too much until today.

I think the reason I’m more sensitive today is because the family is trying to pack to go camping and I have yet to learn how to get ready for camping without stressing out from all the prep work.  Each year, we go to Brownsville (sooo far…) 🙂 and camp at the Pioneer Park during the city’s yearly celebration.  This year is the 125th event – amazing!  The kids have a ball because the Picnic is so family friendly.  Up till this year, all of us except Tom have competed in the Spelling Bee & and placed either first or second.  Blaine loves it because he usually places First in his division and gets himself some spending money for the rest of the weekend. 🙂  I haven’t done too shabbily either myself.  Usually I end up besting the kids’ school principal.  Now that’s fun! LOL

The flip side of feeling good is that I end up – like I stated earlier – trying to pack too much into the short amount of good time that I have.  And then that wears me out.  And then I get cranky.  And then the circle continues…

On Tuesday, it was my turn to take someone to the doctor.  Tom had his 6 month checkup with his neurologist & it looks like they have his seizures under control.  He hasn’t had any episodes in such a long time.  We are so blessed for that.  But the best thing was he had a really bad headache that day.  I know that sound weird, but I’m pretty sure most of you have had a time when you’ve had a medical issue & then gone to the doctor only to have it NOT manifest itself that day, and the doctor says you’re fine.  Well, this was a great day for him to have a headache.  Dr. Choi asked about it, and wondered if this was a “just-once-in-a-while” issue or an everyday occurance.  When we told him that the headaches happen every day, he looked back at Tom’s chart & couldn’t find where he’d had his last MRI.  So in 2 weeks, Tom will be getting his brain scanned & we’ll find out whether he has one or not!  🙂

Tomorrow is my fourth session of chemo.  I liken it to riding a roller coaster – you know those old rickety sounding wooden ones that have breathtaking climbs until you get to the top & plummet to the bottom, just to whip around a corner & do it again.  I’m up at the top of one of those climbs.  It’s slowing down, and preparing to tip over the edge.  So I’m gonna raise my hands high, and let out a yell, because as you know that’s the best way to ride the scariest ones.