Archive | October 2013

Out of the darkness

Cancer Free

Today is a happy day.  It’s my chemoversary, and I’m EXCITED!!!

Today I had my routine 3 month physical checkup with Dr. Sharman, my oncologist at Willamette Valley Cancer Institute in Eugene, OR.  I thought it was pretty cool that the appointment landed on my one year chemoversary.  By the way, I’m not sure that’s a real word, but get used to it, because I’m going to use it. 🙂

For those of you that live here locally, you know what an amazingly gorgeous day today was.  The sun was blazing, the air was crisp, and it was just an all around perfect fall day.  As my car was winding down the parking garage I got to reflecting back on this past year and a half.  It’s been a very dark time.  Not just for me, but for our whole family.  We have been faced with things and situations that we never dreamed we would have to consider.  I’d like to think that we’ve all learned major lessons, however, I can really only speak for myself.  I have learned that I’m stronger than I thought I was.

I turned another corner and went down another level in the garage.  One year ago, I was doing this.  It’s 1:52 pm.  Was my chemo appointment in the morning?  I’m thinking it was.  I could have been leaving this place at this exact time a year ago.

Another corner.  There’s been so many changes.  I have a cute hairstyle now.  And even though it’s got more grey than I used to have, I kind of like it. 🙂  It’s natural highlighting.  I think I can rock the grey.

Another corner.  I’m almost to the ground floor.  This feels great!  I don’t have to come here again for another 3 months, and I don’t have to have a PET scan the next time!  Apparently I’ve been PET negative long enough, that the doctor said we can do a regular CT scan, because now we’re just looking for growth changes.  I can handle that.  Heck, it’s going to be a LOT cheaper of a test & I don’t have to do the whole no-carb prep thing, sounds like a win-win to me!

Finally, I can see the exit.  It’s really bright.  The sun is shining.  The symbolism does not escape me.  Here I am, leaving a dark parking garage and entering a beautiful day – a lot like my life.  I’m leaving that dark time where it seemed like I was going in circles.  Now I’m entering a bright and vibrant era…  The future looks wonderful, and I’m here to experience it.

I’m getting closer to the outside.  The rectangle of the exit area is getting larger and larger.  It’s getting brighter.  I’m leaving the dark garage.

Now’s my chance.  Do I pull into a parking spot & just stay here?  Are you kidding?  When there’s so much out there in the light?  I drive on.  Out of the darkness.

Isaiah 42:16
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.

 

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