I was able to go home from the hospital yesterday. My Aunt Nancy & Uncle Steve Aerni were going to come visit and they ended up taking us to dinner and then home instead.
While it’s nice to be home, I am finding that some of my biggest battles are inside me. Ever since my fever got so high, I’ve been scared. Scared of what? I don’t know, a little bit of everything I guess. Scared that the fever will come back. Scared that I won’t be able to catch my breath. Scared for my kids. Scared that I should be doing something more, but what? Scared that I’m resting too much, or maybe not enough. It’s hard to know what to do.
I’m so close to being done with my treatments and this seems like such a huge setback. In all this, I know that God is in control, it just seems so easy to forget when you’re facing scary stuff.
I keep my cell phone on my nightstand at night. This morning I woke up to a text coming in. It was from my mom. It was a verse she had found while she was reading her Bible: Psalm 71:20 –
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.